i still think about that guy at community college who would only show up to class with a single pencil because 'that's all i need'

the grinch is probably the worst character ever designed and created and put on 10k shitty cotton shirts a year, right behind charlie brown

NOOOO "Jack Karlson, who shot to fame after ‘succulent Chinese meal’ arrest, dies aged 82" I HAD A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL TODAY TOO. RIP

train people are very intimidating. case in point: the hey arnold wiki for the haunted train character and its extreme levels of detail

italy (chaotic neutral) / eataly (chaotic good) / eatshitaly (lawful evil)

Kaksi lensi yli käenpesän minä sekä hän, jonka häkistänsä ulos pelasin / oli siivet vielä maassa, mutta näin sen elävän, kun sen sivupeilin

my dad just texted me 'happy atomic bomb day' because i forgot it's the atomic bomb's bday (trinity test anniversary) wtf

ffs we have the droopy amber eyes, the same hair, are bigger people, similar clothes, a big nose, we're the same height. Falin is copying me

i've finally found an anime TM character that looks like me. i have no idea who Falin Touden is or what the anime is about but i'm scared

forgot to take a picture of my clean apt. before beginning to pack it up oops

realized today the tesla logo looks like an iud. makes sense since those cars are a very effective form of birth control.

i know this is ubercapitalist of me but i miss when shark week had commercial tie-ins like the 7-11 shark donuts

if i owned one of those ancestry sites, for april fools i'd add .01% french to everyone's dna profile just to sow chaos

going to need to have a long, heart-to-heart chat with the inventor of mosquitoes

living in the post-truth, taytay chatgpt tesla timeline but at least vegan breakfast burritos exist

the goodwill i had from my good deeds has been used up tonight after cutting all the airport lines and bullying tsa BUT I MADE THE FLIGHT

updog

idea: a show about (academic) cheaters. you are NOT the author! everyone is shocked and horrified. they throw rotten fruit at the stage.

i think my sim's playstyle is 'trickster god'. everyone is mostly miserable except the weirdos, like count chocula in the fnaf house.

i need to remember to delete my mastodon account