idc about the olympics but Shannon Sharpe and Chad Johnson's opening ceremony watch party is exquisite

also i finally have an internet connection again but verizon is trying to charge me 200 dollars when they should be paying ME after all this

italy (chaotic neutral) / eataly (chaotic good) / eatshitaly (lawful evil)

Kaksi lensi yli käenpesän minä sekä hän, jonka häkistänsä ulos pelasin / oli siivet vielä maassa, mutta näin sen elävän, kun sen sivupeilin

for some reason there's an apt. complex up the street from me that is always on fire at like 3 am. how about stop being so flammable huh

my dad just texted me 'happy atomic bomb day' because i forgot it's the atomic bomb's bday (trinity test anniversary) wtf

ffs we have the droopy amber eyes, the same hair, are bigger people, similar clothes, a big nose, we're the same height. Falin is copying me

i've finally found an anime TM character that looks like me. i have no idea who Falin Touden is or what the anime is about but i'm scared

forgot to take a picture of my clean apt. before beginning to pack it up oops

had to rebook my flight due to the THE STORM (i am from so cal, i fear weather). hope my rat bastard neighbors don't steal my mail!!

realized today the tesla logo looks like an iud. makes sense since those cars are a very effective form of birth control.

when i pass my comps i'm going to symbolically adopt a nurse shark from the bimini shark lab in celebration

i know this is ubercapitalist of me but i miss when shark week had commercial tie-ins like the 7-11 shark donuts

if i owned one of those ancestry sites, for april fools i'd add .01% french to everyone's dna profile just to sow chaos

hate fainting hate blood draws hate blood

going to need to have a long, heart-to-heart chat with the inventor of mosquitoes

living in the post-truth, taytay chatgpt tesla timeline but at least vegan breakfast burritos exist

the goodwill i had from my good deeds has been used up tonight after cutting all the airport lines and bullying tsa BUT I MADE THE FLIGHT

toiling (cleaning my apt)

updog