unicorns

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unicorns 🧐 351 days ago

what if my ego blocked and reported my id

unicorns 🎶 401 days ago

my browser crashed. i reopened all the windows and tabs. i was then punished with dk64, the foggy dew, iron chef battle: noodles all playing

unicorns 👀 404 days ago

big history does not want you to know the marshall plan was originally the marshall mcluhan plan, in which every german would be put in a tv

unicorns 😡 406 days ago

81 in boston today and about to go get my foot x-rayed, sister is in the er and people in this country continue to be cowards. go figure

unicorns 🔥 415 days ago

i can feel it now. my toxic old white woman trait is going to be buying overpriced candles

unicorns ✨ 438 days ago

"OF COURSE you love björk" -- people familiar with björk upon learning she is my favorite artist since i was like, 13

unicorns 🔥 439 days ago

that's not spaghetti code. that's yankee ingenuity.

unicorns 🤩 439 days ago

YES i am a swiftie. a johnathan swiftie. always in my pseudonyms and satire eras

unicorns 🏆 440 days ago

say what you want about the golden record, but scientists should have put humanity's greatest creation (the big mouth billy bass) on voyager

unicorns ✅ 451 days ago

somewhere in the depths of twitter i bet there's an argument happening about whether thongs are working class or tools of the bourgeoisie

unicorns ✨ 451 days ago

'this wizard will guide you through the process'. no. i only trust witches. why is the program not a witch.

unicorns 💀 455 days ago

i just saw photos of the america first warehouse thing. hugo boss would be so disappointed.

unicorns 👀 468 days ago

i still think about that guy at community college who would only show up to class with a single pencil because 'that's all i need'

unicorns 💀 472 days ago

the grinch is probably the worst character ever designed and created and put on 10k shitty cotton shirts a year, right behind charlie brown

unicorns 💔 497 days ago

NOOOO "Jack Karlson, who shot to fame after ‘succulent Chinese meal’ arrest, dies aged 82" I HAD A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL TODAY TOO. RIP

unicorns 🚄 502 days ago

train people are very intimidating. case in point: the hey arnold wiki for the haunted train character and its extreme levels of detail

unicorns 🍕 511 days ago

italy (chaotic neutral) / eataly (chaotic good) / eatshitaly (lawful evil)

unicorns 🎶 517 days ago

Kaksi lensi yli käenpesän minä sekä hän, jonka häkistänsä ulos pelasin / oli siivet vielä maassa, mutta näin sen elävän, kun sen sivupeilin

unicorns 🙃 519 days ago

my dad just texted me 'happy atomic bomb day' because i forgot it's the atomic bomb's bday (trinity test anniversary) wtf

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