YES i am a swiftie. a johnathan swiftie. always in my pseudonyms and satire eras

say what you want about the golden record, but scientists should have put humanity's greatest creation (the big mouth billy bass) on voyager

somewhere in the depths of twitter i bet there's an argument happening about whether thongs are working class or tools of the bourgeoisie

'this wizard will guide you through the process'. no. i only trust witches. why is the program not a witch.

i just saw photos of the america first warehouse thing. hugo boss would be so disappointed.

i still think about that guy at community college who would only show up to class with a single pencil because 'that's all i need'

the grinch is probably the worst character ever designed and created and put on 10k shitty cotton shirts a year, right behind charlie brown

NOOOO "Jack Karlson, who shot to fame after ‘succulent Chinese meal’ arrest, dies aged 82" I HAD A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL TODAY TOO. RIP

train people are very intimidating. case in point: the hey arnold wiki for the haunted train character and its extreme levels of detail

italy (chaotic neutral) / eataly (chaotic good) / eatshitaly (lawful evil)

Kaksi lensi yli käenpesän minä sekä hän, jonka häkistänsä ulos pelasin / oli siivet vielä maassa, mutta näin sen elävän, kun sen sivupeilin

my dad just texted me 'happy atomic bomb day' because i forgot it's the atomic bomb's bday (trinity test anniversary) wtf

ffs we have the droopy amber eyes, the same hair, are bigger people, similar clothes, a big nose, we're the same height. Falin is copying me

i've finally found an anime TM character that looks like me. i have no idea who Falin Touden is or what the anime is about but i'm scared

forgot to take a picture of my clean apt. before beginning to pack it up oops

realized today the tesla logo looks like an iud. makes sense since those cars are a very effective form of birth control.

i know this is ubercapitalist of me but i miss when shark week had commercial tie-ins like the 7-11 shark donuts

if i owned one of those ancestry sites, for april fools i'd add .01% french to everyone's dna profile just to sow chaos

going to need to have a long, heart-to-heart chat with the inventor of mosquitoes

living in the post-truth, taytay chatgpt tesla timeline but at least vegan breakfast burritos exist