forced to deal with reality and those I should care most about and not some fanciful autopilot mundane selfish solipsistic fantasy

spend 10 minutes drafting a text to still feel stuck between misinterpreting and being mean and not asserting one's (good-willed) beliefs

should i eat 20 pizza bagels tonight yes or no

I just wanna be confident and have trust in myself for once in my life (without going overboard to hubris and fucking myself over)

wanted to do my paper, excited to do my paper... now i dont want to bruhhh

Went out to bars with the roomie <3 incredible night

green apple gatorade my beloved

give me one reason i shouldnt get a tamagotchi uni

A twizzler or two for breakfast

mfs spend all day procrastinating to bang out 6 pages in an hour and a half bruhhhh

mfs be like "good job" but I'm returned back to my body so self conscious I cannot stand myself

Mfs be like "and it's cool" when discussing serious academic ideas. I need to pick a new word. Not contradictory perhaps...

thinking happy thoughts ^u^

even the self-productive days feel bad... i cant wait for my hormones to even this out (yes i will blame that so i dont have to do anything)

Tired of micromanaging the windows and fans in my apartment bc I have no control over the radiators. This is real life not sims city wtf!

imagine thinking anything is a task worth celebrating and not just absent shuffling so you can not be useless but you'll end up there anyway

the seasons have officially changed I got a nosebleed

wasting my time wasting my life :( i will make a list of things i can do that will alleviate this......

I am reverting to old ways. Does that make change an illusion or me weak-willed? Does that matter if I let time pass me by?

I love feeling insufferable and incapable but I'd feel worse if I didn't get clarity?