bashing my skull in because I wish I could be anyone but me but I cannot make the choices that would change me for the better

back to being a loser :) things never change and i dissociate so hard i cant feel it :) :)

feel awful my turns take so long #spellcaster shit

went from doing bad on the midterm to my strongest section being on amour-propre and amour de soi

getting really unwell and thinking i need to keep my wisdom teeth to succeed in my philosophy phd

this shit is not a marathon it's a sprint goddamnit!!

actual irrational crashout incoming why do i have no skills (for anything I want to do)

I love being everyone's neutral fly on the wall

Somebody better figure out if asking Saint Anthony to help u find smth is placebo bc I might have to start believing

I'm a "are u gonna eat that pickle?" girl and he's a "no you can have it" boy and I love him but life took us apart :(

I wish there was anything stable that I cared about. Like... no one would be able to pin down anything about me and be accurate.

Why does having a lazy day make me feel disgusting and not refreshed

I wish my life was more [productive, ideal/oriented toward art and creating, virtue, friends]. I need to change but life gets in the way too

I wish I could do anything worthwhile or meaningful

things looks better and yet I remain stuck in a loop, hollow

man... what is happening to me...

(being insanely dramatic but the hole in my chest grows) when does the survivor guilt end?

I really am asleep in my own body for much of the day, huh?

Im geeking bro why is being vulnerable so hard what if people think im mean or stupid

having a body is so hard... too much work... I need out of it