rifts between my desires, my past actions, how i was raised, my potential future, and the now known (but not wholly) facts of my body.

GOD I LOVE BEING 25 IN AN OFFICE FULL OF (almost or over) 30 YEARS OLDSSSS

plagued by visions of the only fitting solution being blowing my shit smoove off because being angry doesnt work anymore

Me turning into God's most annoying soldier trying to undo some anxiety and shame in connecting

I can feel myself getting annoyinger... go go gadget philosopher

getting increasingly pissed off about the callous on my wrist from where it hits the desk when I use my mouse

yearning, mourning, tearing my heart from my chest

forgot the word "syllogism" but could remember modus ponens to get the word to pop up... sounds about right.

Post hoc rationalizing every decision in a ttrpg and deciding it was actually rp and in character

it's just that nothing feels good, nothing is inspiring, nothing comes to me to do... i've left no notes, no time to set up...

mesmerized that people do things for fun... ill never know what thats like (wait, I should manifest) one day I'll know what thats like

Learning 2 take care of my stuff bc of an academic article about pro wrestlers being more hurt from lots of standard bumps vs bigger stunts

good god i wish i had memories... i think i'm building my attention back...

bitches will apologize and feel bad but refuse to do better.... awkwardd

I'm tired of this i just feel like an alien like who cares dont pour your heart out making excuses just lock in

I'm not cringe, people are just busy and it's late. I'm not a selfish texter, I'm carrying on the conversation

I need to claw out of my flesh and its past put me in the experience machine now

just going through the motions... that means i'm not good

oh my god it's actually over...

getting delusional imagining myself in someone else's shoes like i'll ever be there one day