whelp, I'm not pregnant
eightzero
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curses. foiled again.
we're going home, toto! we're going home!
disappointed
"i have my answers" "I assure you they are all true" "even the lies?" "*especially* the lies"
fuck hotels that disable access to HDMI ports on their tvs
i might simply switch to lip-syncing through life
vacay = just throw munny out dat window in fistfuls
turns out I am pretty good at doing nothing all day
I'm reminded that all humans have a projected lifetime of about three minutes. And each time we take a breath, that clock resets.
alas, i have exhausted all my fucks I had to give
look. i sold something on eBay
who knew planning a vacay would be so complicated
i inherited a digital pencil for my iPad. Wonder what it can do?
11. Fuck Louisiana
i have a werwy gwood fwend fwom wome named biggus dickus
need pivo
demolition complete. i really like tearing worthless sh*t apart, and throwing it all the f*ck away.
snoopy come home
My dad's dead, my FIL dead, my kids dead. Happy father's day, hallmark.