golfed

All this time I thought Arianda Grande was a font

easy come easy go

so much for springtime

I fell like Oliver Twist when I apply for a credit card. "Please sir...can I have some more?" "YOU WANT MORE GRUEL?!?!"

How can I have Sunday Night Flu when I don't have a fucking job to go to tomorrow?

my butt hurts

sunny ides

fedex sucks

i fixed it

the sun appears over the yardarm

i dislike being alone in this house for more than 24 hours

are we not men? we are devo

I had an old thing I wanted others to see, and told them "it belongs in a museum." They said, "so do you."

Rule of Acquisition #1: once you have their money, you never give it back.

haven't been this sick in a long time

who writes software like this? do people that write this code actually use the crap they produce?

flurries every march

reminder: there is no February 29th, 2100.

siri and alexa suck