NEW WEBSITE IS FINALLY LIVE WOOOOOOOO

RIP iOS 6, you would have loved logging in to iCloud ;(

cashews. we have peanuts at home.

“oh they’re just nicotine lozenges” BULLSHIT RYAN I KNOW YOU’RE DOING VITAMIN D

don’t think i’ve got enough impostor syndrome to *really* have impostor syndrome

i just downed an entire pint of water in under ten seconds. and where was god?

life begins at condom

LPT: if ever you feel that something is inadequate, you can always just lower your standards

just waiting until the opportunity is perfect for me to continue to not do the thing

binary binary binary binary

the social part of my brain is currently an analogue TV tuned to Channel 1 expecting a picture against all odds

get it on, bang a swan, get it on

was beginning to think i had conquered my fear of moths. turns out they just weren’t quite big enough

i want you all to know that as a fast food worker i think it is okay to reheat rice

currently staring at my childhood VHS copy of The Lion King and regretting that i used it as a sacrifice for testing the chewy VCR

oh yeh i have a cat now, a living one this time

cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders cylinders

sorry, i’ll call you back. i’m busy being devastated by Being Alive

that strange moment when you head out the door and it’s quieter outside than it is in the house

what i may lack in intelligence, i more than make up for in stupidity