i find myself trying to invent the wheel before i can invent the car, which is very funny because i don’t know how to drive anyway

cats

caramel syrup is the solution to all life’s problems

plainly and simply scared

what a nice day (if you’re into that sort of thing)

trying to cope with the debilitating condition of not being able to be God

i could curl in on myself, but the joy of the connection is worth the pain of the exposure

fax +441903331331 and i will fax you back a drawing of any animal you request

satisfied by possibility, not daunted by it

i want to say that i am SO VERY. but there is no soness and no veryness to be seen. perhaps that is a blessing

somewhere in the world. right now. there is a whale.

surely something must be about to go wrong

call and response except i do both the call AND the response because GOSH I JUST LOVE MAKING NOISE

tico taco ya ya ya

i figure that if a song doesn’t sting you a bit, you haven’t written it correctly

once, two pufferfish bumped into each other in the inky depths. to this day, both tell stories of that giant, spiky demon they once saw

if there is a god, i do thank him for the existence of smoked salmon

being atheist cannot prepare you for the profoundly religious experience of eating half a bag of semolina onion rings in one sitting at 1am

we WILL get GTA VI before PowerShell finishes launching

i love when i have done something for the first time and i get to compare the memory with the prediction and delight at the differences