two-legged centaurs are commonly mistaken for humans, but this is actually very offensive to them

i need the northern cardinals to know how much i love them

why would you taint the delicate tuna with olives like that

James Cameron is living proof that Man’s greatest showstoppers are fortune, the ego, and lead poisoning

skeletons are asleep, post defiling

“it’s not you, it’s me,” i say to my reflection

the truth, like Internet Explorer, will endure

miss u gnat

hate that i am always at my most creative when i am about to go to bed

“i did it my way,” i say, aggressively copying the exact vocal inflections of Frank Sinatra

the crows stand on the grass, and remind me that my existence on this planet is subject to their rules

now … i know i as a musician don’t have much authority over the Catholic church, but i just think that, if you play in Am, you should Bsus

someone get me a hammer so i can give that car alarm a fucking reason to be going off constantly at 1am

nothing is unsolvable as long as you don’t care about the correctness of the solution

you can travel the world, but nothing comes close to a Sunbeam toast

freeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeee from this STRIFE

anyway here’s Ride of the Valkyries *starts twerking*

fully laden scaffolding gull

i feel like there’s a lot to the Jack and Jill rhyme that needs explaining

i suspect AAVE is African-Americans’ revenge for slavery, which is probably justified