the important thing is that now! you know. and you can move forward with clear eyes. and maybe seething hatred in your heart. but love too!!

nestled snug and warm in bed while the temperatures outside plummet. now if only i could get more than 5 hours of sleep a night

multiple layers of pink clothing like ah yes. a happiness charmtoken

need to do the laundry this weekend. bro its going to be so soft and so warm blankets

(thinking how kind it was for someone to want for me to get better for my sake, but that they'd love me regardless) waow. bewuved babycat

*pointing at oxenfree michael and alex* yeah so basically me and my brother are like this. Yes It's Very Normal And Not Bloodsoaked

goddamn no wonder i have so much fun writing messy divorced couples and cheating scenarios. LMAO

something about how desire necessitates an absence. you want what you cannot have, what you do not have to hold as your own

(thinking about how threats of violence from men moved to shaking with rage over how ive been treated is still the safest feeling)

i'm like my big brother loves me so i will not be evil and will try to be good. and also will only bite (holds a finger up) a LITTLE bit

yes he is like 80% of my self control. yes i have gotten demonstrably Worse since hes been hit with a sledgehammer by life. oops

i'm like everyone is soooo lucky i choose to not go full house md brain rats mode. and that my older brother loves me

stomach turning to think about the falsity of faces people so easily wear & demonstrably prove you right over and over BUT! we persist, etc

of course it hurts. it wouldnt hurt if it hadnt mattered. and it wouldnt be worth doing if it didnt. you have to excise the rot to heal <3

debriding is such a word of all time, actually

like a comfort blankey... or a soothing backrub. to know someone loves you so much. to think of you even when theyre in intense pain

(gets upset) *thinks about how my brother texted me he loved me and not to worry and he was ok even when delirious* okay. :-) happy again

january has been an incredibly sobering month in coming to terms with unpleasant truths. i know i have to face the music, but damn

one thing about me is i WILL find some cobbled silly solution. me taking crappy pix with my phone and squishing jpgs

low spoons and very sick but i put together a tiny little pokemon soulsilver shrine on my webbedsite <3