good lord the toasted broccoli is AMAZING with the barest drizzle of sesame dressing. brings out the nuttiness beautifully

beautiful functional eating habits. aka i’m off the wagon and have eaten two pounds of plain air fryer broccoli and three mini custard buns

vomited so much i broke the goddamn plumbing. girl help. anyways it’s partially resolved and i’ve crawled back into bed. feel exorcised

my necklace snapped when i was adjusting my goddamn sweater. fixed it with a pair of scissors and some bending silver wire

i've been struck down with norovirus. twice in literally less than two months

cannot stop thinking about that house md quote. fuck

i’m going to literally cry myself to sleep because it’s better to at least be comfortable in bed while weeping like a child

the only thing really worth saying would be that i’m sorry dan

really fiending for the euphoric calm of accepting what is going to happen but instead i’ve just been sobbing for hours. pathetic

anyways if you withdraw and slow fade it means you have nothing to feel guilty over. it’s easier that way. and i’ve been doing great at that

it’s inhumane to expect someone to live like this. i can’t do it anymore

debating writing a note for the nth time but it’s pointless and doesn’t matter because no one’s reading it. ugh ugh ugh

okay back to hanging out on the suicide forum i guess because complete strangers are kinder than my supposed friends. researching methods

it all really distills down to me being incredibly upset at realizing how little i mean to anyone and how meaningless my existence is. ouch

not a single person in my life asides from my older brother, who has been MIA for health reasons would give a shit if i died. incredibly sad

it never goes away. my entire life has been like this. its just that sometimes i can briefly look away, distract myself. its smothering

crushingly lonely.

pita bread with cream cheese and penne pasta

huh. that dark mode add on the forums mentioned is actually really lovely

the woes of having wet nail polish on your hands (humidity makes it take forever to dry) and wanting to refill your fountain pen