it never goes away. my entire life has been like this. its just that sometimes i can briefly look away, distract myself. its smothering

crushingly lonely.

pita bread with cream cheese and penne pasta

huh. that dark mode add on the forums mentioned is actually really lovely

the woes of having wet nail polish on your hands (humidity makes it take forever to dry) and wanting to refill your fountain pen

humid and cold night. no extreme weather alert, but itll snow

so damn cold in here my fountain pen ink is not cooperating with me. at least the cold helps with the chronic pain

me accidentally getting anya's haircut was truly the event of all time actually

i feel like a husk of myself. i feel like a revenant. like a dead man walking. like a ghost haunting my own life

and yet the tedium of living never ceases. theres always dishes to wash. laundry to run. food you have to halfheartedly eat and drink

one day i'm going to kill myself and it wont be a surprise to anyone who knows me. and i think that's the saddest part. their indifference

only thing that makes me feel even marginally better is music. show pony and hot mulligan getting me through the horrors i guess

weeping for no reason (the reason is debilitating mental and physical pain)

you know its getting bad when all i want to do is sleep so that i dont have to be aware of my existence

sick and tired of being people's doll on the shelf to pick up and admire before throwing to the ground. caved in porcelain

head down on the desk trying to not cry because i cant take painkillers just yet because of other pills souping around in my me

that house md scene is so relateable. life is pain. every morning i wake up in pain. you know how many times i thought about ending it?

google search local confessionals near me. please god put me out of my misery

really cool when i cant do the only thing that feels of value or provides any purpose or justification for my existence

its like you have SO much more time to do a- [my depression caves my skull in. i am rendered useless and creatively stagnant]