patting my pockets like 'phone, wallet, keys, cigarettes'

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ITS ALL RAGE I CANT EVEN BE UPSET

second to last application... realize the word i'm looking for is trivial...

save me flat affect save meeee i love flat affect actually

becoming insanely comfortable when someone is assigned to be my rock so i keep throwing stuff at them about stuff beyond that scope <3

beginning to run into walls because it's not entirely cute being a 23 year old who has a childlike naivete toward being a functional human

So happy. Feeling silly, feeling like myself... not scared, trusting people like me for me

I wish I didn't feel so disgusting and incapable (separate concerns)

getting insanely emotional over the thought of going to a school 2 of my professors went to...

im so ill i cant eat

should i explode? I waste all my time anyway...

complain enough and it shall change

was gonna go out... it starts storming... crying in my bed instead

get insanely obsessed with creating a phenomenology of dying like some doomed explorer trying to find comfort through the fountain of youth

oh my god minor mistake i didnt catch save me im so screwed lmao (it's not funny but im sure its fine)

Hiccups... three times... for 10+ minutes each time??? It's all the evil in my soul...

oh to have autonomy and goals and to be confident in anything :(

oh i am already going to burn out and it has been one day...

born to eat cheese balls forced to be normal and just go to sleep soon without overindulging on snacks

I need to get out of here where I can be more, but I'll never be more actually i can just fake it and focus it better