made a bet and lost it all.. that’s Vegas baby

my mom just said I’m balding

if you saw me sprinting in SFO.. I made it to my flight with 0 seconds to spare

I’ve been informed too many times about my rbf

my coworker keeps trying to set me up…

why have my sneakers gone through tsa scanner 3 times..

ok but I love times new roman

I have got to stop saying “when I was in my 20s”

just been informed I was that b*tch at my local cafe

how else do I describe the archetype of man who has been to thailand

I love to squander my potential in portland oregon

I am a shepherd

someone just asked me if I had aspirations

imagine making a commitment (I can't!)

how do I warn my fellow gaysians on the dance floor

my mom said I look different this year (old)

ok actually potato diet

baby think it over

as good as I remember

dopamine sound bath