my lack of ability to focus, to motivate myself is ruining everything.

I went outside today! (yay for cat food, french fries, and seeing the sun!)

Being awake just feels empty when your head is full of wonder but your body won’t make it real. Tired of trying, just want to do.

I need to get it together.

Feeling under-stimulated so I impulse bought a new game (Crow Country) instead of doing the 10 billion other stuff I should be doing. Whelp.

While I think my mood is improving, the ability to do things has not. Just a jar full of bees, waiting to be free.

Dressed like pre-teen bully in a 80s movie (hockey jersey, baggy jeans, & mullet)

Oof, I don’t like this empty feeling.

Currently wrapped in my blanket. I know I eventually have to venture outside. (Its chilly but I hunger and we need toilet paper)

Appt Recap: probably just have Subclinical OCD. Zoloft upped to 200mg. 4 months of anxiety cbt before accessing ADHD (i miss vyvanse)

Sleepyhead. I tell myself this lie: There is no point in seeing the sun. So I shut my eyes. The curtains drawn close.

It was a "can't get out of bed" day.

Watched 3 movies today: The Substance (in theaters), then Look Back and Hundreds of Beavers (at home). 3 very different vibes, all great!

How do I proceed when life itself is overwhelming?

Currently trying out ReadyMag for my portfolio site. Let's see how this goes.

Being a Black Queer Femme online thinking "BFFR?!" over & over. Ppl blaming each other, in-denial of the horrifying truth about The US.

5 more days till my OCD assessment and the chance to be back on vyvanse.

God, please let me work on my fucking portfolio site so I can get a paycheck again. I want to focus on more important things (ex: community)

If I’m nothing but tired…

Some days I wake up and all I think and feel is “I don’t have much in me anymore.” Then the sun rises and sets without me moving. Shame.