I am become Death, destroyer of weeds

nachos and disco (elysium)

"I'm excited to be here" well I suggest you get over that as soon as possible

I saw a kildeer, a red-winged blackbird, and a peregrine during my lunch walk! (Also a gopher but those are not birds)

Found a copy of my undergrad thesis while cleaning. Amazing how meaningless this thing is now when I worked so hard on it.

My fridge contains ice cream *and* cheesecake, so I'm eating a mug full of frozen cherries. the best.

RIP, least bad pope of my lifetime

An entire house and where do both cats NEED to sleep? On me. <3

"The requested item was not found on this server" your mom was not found on this server

Courtrooms on TV always look so fancy. The ones here look like a sad community college

Cousin just got diagnosed with cancer, but if he doesn't work they don't eat. We are not a civilized nation.

The cat brought me breakfast in bed (aka a mouse she had played to death). Thanks but ewww

Literally ran from annoying coworker just now. Saw him coming and just...zipped down a side hall. Phew. Close one.

hello yes why am i contractually obligated to put up with *gestures* this

Aunt I Rarely See had the audacity to suggest I solve my money problems with "marry a rich guy." ...in THIS economy?

The Creature Commandos soundtrack is good listening, as the youths say

I was going to shower, but the cat is too cute, so I will implement plan b: die stinky

One more day of proctoring state-mandated testing. Beep boop fill in the bubbles, children

"The library is closed; that's why the sign says 'library is closed'." - me, to three different people within 20 minutes today

Leopards eating MY face? In THIS economy?