taking a birthday shit

ugh

everyone is ripping me to shreds and then getting mad at me for bleeding and flailing in agony

i so desperately wish i could just have a little party where i eat cake and play games with friends or smth but i dont get that luxury

all i do for myself is take the work off, and even then i dont always do that and just let it fly under the radar. better than rejection ig

some ppl might think im whiny but im sorry if you havent spent your whole life being rejected at every celebratory moment then sit down

i spent a decade trying to reclaim my bday after a traumatic 16th in which everyone cancelled last min but it keeps getting worse

im not even gonna try to plan anything for my bday. if anyone cares they'll approach me. but no one ever does. i cant force ppl to care.

my 29th birthday is in 3 days and i could not feel like i mattered less

i smoke cigarettes sometimes & like beer it would be rly funny if i let myself become addicted to that and alcohol for shits and giggles

hurt my back woooooooo!!!

awe yea i filed my taxes and 90% of my returns is credits for being poor xD

bus riders can save hundreds each month with one simple trick!! (fare enforcement HATES him!)

i am not crying out for help. im just screaming into the void. posting messages is therapeutic idk why

i wish i could afford to adopt another cat. been a while since rocky died & i feel aimless and w/o purpose. he was my only reason for living

the smell in the halls in my building have been getting so bad lately... it is so bad 2day i was lightheaded waiting on the lift W A MASK

my therapist has informed me that actually not everything is my fault and i cannot control the injustices i face!!

my ex sending me weird threatening emails and retracting later. my neighbors slamming shit. weirdos wandering the halls. ptsd times!!

ex totaled his car n his abusive ass had me on it ofc n im dealing w his insrnce calling instead of email even tho im DHH n deadnaming me :)

everything is my fault. i am the source of pain and sorrow in the universe. i should be eliminated for the betterment of humanity.