i need to hire a lawyer to deal with my lawyer god i am so tired of this process

its wild when im so lucid that i fishhook and depersonalize again and see my self-injuries with compassion like seeing a friend struggling

being vaguely fragmented and SHing is darkly funny cos ppl will wonder if u were attacked or hurt urself and im like...its kinda both lmao

very hard to code my website on a 13yo 4th-hand macbook on its 3rd battery that randomly dies every 15 min and takes 15 more min to restart

stranger in my building overtly and dramatically sniffed my dirty laundry omw to the laundry room i am going to kms

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel / I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real

its hard being a stupid fat transmasc nb with a smart beautiful transfem partner who is friends with when more beautiful smart trans women

like the WORST thing for my bpd is prob for her to leave the GC or stop talking to ppl who make me insecure cos it validates my paranoia

i have been very open w my partner about my silly brain and i appreciate that she has been kind without even considering leaving the GC

having bpd is so stupid i have so many silly thoughts that my partner will fall in love w someone in her GC but i have no basis for it ><

trying to be less bitchy and annoying

i hate my life

back on my antidepressants thanks to my counselor. very good thing but very bad side effects from restarting. i feel like a walking ulcer.

i cant believe im having to fight so hard just to get the meds that keep me alive. why only give me 2 days worth of meds for 2 weeks???

the world is a vampire

i had to answer the phone AND answer the door AND i have to leave the house today this is all so much more than my delicate mind can handle

begging for my meds i told nurse i was in withdrawal & sick & having brain zaps and he literally said "that's fine" see why im suicidal?!!!!

if gf mab pa-15 has a thousand fans i will be one. if gf mab pa-15 has one fan i am that fan. if gf mab pa-15 has no fans i am dead.

pooping with the door open to assert dominance

praying for those affected by the fires </3