1996 / 1312

nothing quite as delicious as learning of an ex's divorce ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

law-defying citizen

desperately need skinny girls in the sw gc to stop giving marketing advice to everyone else

i thought i loved this city but turns out i just love you

(((29)))

"the first step is acceptance - or is it denial? wait, is that grief - or addiction?"

ngl i need to start looking for a *** *******

12:34

i got beat up by cops and all i got was the citation they gave me dismissed so they didn't have to look bad in court

i'd rather be hit on as a girl than threatened as a faggot

when I'm in it, it's not called the cuck chair, it's called the director's chair

first cream, then otter !!!! what's next, bussy ????????

everything is changing all the time and i feel like there's nothing to hold onto

w(r)ist

in case ur wondering who's hosting the superb bowel party this year ?? it's Me :~)

watching pro wrestling w/ my gf while i do spreadsheets for the books to prisoners program & she conditions my boots 😌

burst into tears just b4 midnight

domestic partners // romantic comrades

*a knowing look at the camera*

g-d's favorite for parking yesterday AND rolled my 4th perfect joint in a row