when I'm in it, it's not called the cuck chair, it's called the director's chair

sent 2 different vms to 2 different people about the same topic and they were both 16 seconds long........ what does it MEAN

first cream, then otter !!!! what's next, bussy ????????

everything is changing all the time and i feel like there's nothing to hold onto

w(r)ist

the Big Game party i hosted last night is the first party ive ever thrown w/ no alcohol and it was so successful + everyone had such fun 🥹

in case ur wondering who's hosting the superb bowel party this year ?? it's Me :~)

watching pro wrestling w/ my gf while i do spreadsheets for the books to prisoners program & she conditions my boots 😌

jailbroke my phone // jail broke my brain

burst into tears just b4 midnight

domestic partners // romantic comrades

*a knowing look at the camera*

g-d's favorite for parking yesterday AND rolled my 4th perfect joint in a row

i keep seeing 555, you know what that means! (change is always happening)

barely caught 333

thinking about calling out tomorrow but also thinking about killing myself so what difference does it make

555 / 222

never not in mourning for the cheese steaks at my old corner store </3

standing on a pile of broken glass, stomping around like it's a pile of leaves

being parked in new jersey is more dangerous than driving in new jersey