not posting for a while.

i don't know how to ask for help bc i don't know what would help me atp and i don't wanna burden ppl w/ having to find out for me

sui prevention sounding stupid (i am not ok but nothing helps)

i wish i was sane enough to have friends like a normal person!!!!!!!

this about to sound stupid but i genuinely feel myself getting closer to involuntary admission

MY PEOPLE PLEASING TENDENCIES ARE STRONGER AND THEY ARE DESTROYING ME!! I HAVE DISTANCED MYSELF FROM THE TRUE SELF IN FEAR OF HURTING OTHERS

um. i don't know how friendships work. i don't know why i feel so much apathy for others. i don't know why i want to isolate. am i an alien.

i should give up i should give up my efforts are worthless

i wish i had more free time at work. it would allow me to create better events and more structured designs. everything feels so rushed.

hey i'm doing okayish. trying to find a new therapist. excited for a party in the weekend and a trip next week.

i got a new dinner table yesterday and now i'm freaking out about having to move out one day. paranoid thoughts about losing my job

struggling with weird aggressive thoughts lately. also just had to spent a lot of money so i'm feeling sad. overworked as well. it's so hot.

oh btw the move was stressful as fuck but i love my apartment. it's lovely to have my own place. i just hate adult life and capitalism

hiiiii i love my job! also i hope i can work on a personal game project soon (i've done too many school/gamejam projects, few personal ones)

happy new year! first thing that happened to me was get infatuated. as an aromantic person this was surprising and i'm very confused lol

i'm moving out urgently on friday. i'm terrified. i don't want to leave. i'm terrified. everything will be awful. i'm terrified

kinda wish i had a hub for all my thoughts and projects. i love neocities/nekoweb but i wanted a private space?

i have a feeling death is always hanging around. watching. i'm so young yet i can't stay a day without obsessing over it. get out.

i had a really interesting dream tonight. with aliens that could communicate through radiowaves.. idk how to explain. it was amazing.

so many feelings at work today. feeling tired. kinda frustrated i failed a run in pressure. stupid mistake made me rage quit lol