a little insane over the edges.

i miss my guts.

i've been missing something that has never existed, i think.

"i know you want it & you can do it, but you've always trained yourself to failure and that's... not fair at all." ouch.

oh sammy they'll never make me hate you...

it's been days & i have yet to digest dean's immature, controlling, & violent outburst towards sam in s04e04 (silent treatment-emotional manipulation-domestic violence-guilt tripping-double standards-coercion-ill moralism...)

nobody tells you how scary it is to do it scared.

being raised to be "convenient" & a ghost fucked me up in such annoying ways i can't fucking believe it i'm going insane

are you there god? do i really suck *this* bad? (god is supposed to never hate you, right? right?)

practicing sports will truly transform your body in the most exquisite ways (wdym i'm gaining muscle while having fun AND indulging in my progress addiction?).

rotten days.

wdyd when you wanna do a bunch of things but lack the energy to do any of them?

i just wanna be a regular adult & enjoy that hobby w/ my wife...

it's been a while since i've felt so shitty bro... i think i will take a stroll downtown next monday... maybe visit the harbour too... it always makes me feel better.

note to self: don't trust yourself.

yeah i've given up, i can't do it. "you have to :)" bro i literally can't. "lol you have to." i'm saying it's impossible. "that's not a thing, lol"

hey y'all i've given up 👍 but my heart is relived & that's all that matters

panic induced self-harm as a form of regulation but now working hurts coz your hands are fucked up

nvmd, i will do it, i'm fine, i can do this, i'm insane (i haven't slept)

heyyy im in a ditch lmaoo & its all my fault 🤪