because going to crimea will be worth all the suffering, 10000% worth it, and im gonna have the best time of my life there for once

i know theres a reason my soul is being stubborn about visiting russia before i die, even though its making me suffer

im rly hoping the asmr stuff can significantly help me pay 4 my trips someday, the sooner the better so i can finally die & be nothing again

anyways i guess im gonna finally finish fixing the server im adding a leveling bot & all these things so i dont gotta worry about it

i just hate being here i cant do this long term I CANNOT WORK AND WORK AND WORK UNTIL IM 70 AND DIE I CANT DO THIS. need to do trips n die

if i can just save up & keep working i can make this all end soon. i hate that i feel like i cant do it until my bucket list is done. fuck

so im stuck here being a fucking wage slave working working working working suffering for years because... i wanna travel before i die? dumb

since im not i put so much meaning into visiting russia & japan before i die even though IT DOESNT MATTER.

really annoyed with myself that im not nihilistic i wish i was because if i was id kill myself already

it feels weird knowing youre gonna die in a few years

Love is more valuable than anything I know

OKAY "official" twitch update, i cant return until i buy a new PC. thats it! I'll probably have my new model by then too.

MY FAVORITE SOUNDCLOUD ARTIST FOLLOWED ME WHAT THE FLUFFF

i wont be able to return to twitch for a long time, longer than i originally thought

made a blog for my website today

blowin me up like a pipe bomb blowin me up likeapipebomb oooooo

i was sprinkling from the ceiling you were burning burnin me down blowin me up like a pipe bomb and i dont know why and dont know when to go

you went right through my fucking heart like a bullet from the start yea u went right thru my halls sprayed bullets on my walls..

i guess if i cant return to twitch i'll leave my last update here. im small so it wont effect anyone but i think a final update is good

im scared i just wont ever return to twitch even though i think i really want to. idk, im confused & sad