you ask someone to beat you with a bat and they never oblige. a friend at that.

you ask someone to beat you with a bat and they never oblige. a friend at that.

um so. confided in new friend and it turns out there's this prison that only exists in MY mind;no one else has been there or conceived of it

what to do what to do what to do... oh i know! lie around morosely!

sometimes i think i am really free of my childhood ills and fears(!) and then im unmoving on the couch for hours frozen in irrational terror

one of my favorite things: scrolling through the evolution of a meticulously curated pinterest board, noticing where the objective changed.

one hundred and three days ago i posted "i think i was supposed to have gotten over this by now." about a thing i am still not over.

i think i was supposed to have gotten over this by now.

too long since i worked on site. cathartic! when did i get so busy as to have no time for joy :/

rose coconut milk tea + tinned octopus + kimchi = happy bellyache

#regressing #freakingoutovernothing #beingirrational eating tinned mussels in my bed and hoping for the best

i want to restart the trauma-bonded garage rock band novel i started and named my website after.

i just ate a bunch of fruit and also fruit snacks and also a blueberry muffin. then i had honey mustard pretzels.

my roommate is gushing on the phone about a new [and well deserved] love connection beginning. gleeful vibes in the apartment this evening.

I'M SO FUCKING MAD ALL THE TIME I CANNOT HANDLE IT I NEED TO LEARN TO REGULATE

i've been too anxious recently that i think it is burdening the people i care about and so i am more anxious about that !!!

ate two giant sopes before class and now i can't stop yawning. i don't think i'm going to make it another 50 minutes awake.

having many formative engaging conversations as was the goal of my institution, or something

i don't know how to learn anymore and i have class in two days.

it is undeniably pleasant to write things with no consequences, no other eyes. i have been writing so much [fiction mostly], it's delightful