my parents want me, a human with the social tendencies of an octopus, to give my brother advice on socializing

like sitting inside of a soup and eating the soup while you marinate inside of it. that should be mind alteringly pleasant but it sucks

I kinda fuck w Gnosticism b/c if there is a god they're a dumbass for not making it pleasant to sit inside and eat a big soup

bro I'm moving out and my friend brought her kids over to help and one of them FOUND MY BOX WITH SEX TOYS 😭😭😭😭 KILL ME NOWWWWWWW

workheads be like "I fucking hate my job"

bro tell me why my coworker walked in on me crying in the break room and didn't say shit 💀💀 honestly thanks man no need to comment

crazy fucking overwhelmed and crying at work, taking my 15 to eat brownies and look at tenna fanart. heh.... you could say I'm

I'm on break and my coworker just passed me to drop off more work at my desk that she KNOWS I hate. Motherfucker

in an otherwise silent hospital at 4 in the fucking morning btw

coworker pitching her fuckass church to my other coworker who Won't Stop Yapping btwn playing tiktoks full volume on her phone

also I coughed this morning and the phlegm had BLOOD in it 💔 thought the cold was done but alas I am tormented so

Waiting in dr's office for top surgery consultation. suddenly have to use bathroom. only male/female. Chat am I cooked

it's my fucking birthday and I have a cold and my LUNGS HURT AAAAAAGHHHHH LET IT RAIN BLOOD AND BONEESSSSSSS

may or may not have an STD because a dude threw PISS in my eye. Stay tuned. Also don't work healthcare

I LOVE OCTOPI SO FUCKING MUCH

had a dream abt tomodachi life last night and I woke up and IT'S REAL?

TOMODACHI LIFE TWO?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!!

the hunger games are like SHOCKINGLY good. they hold up so well. I almost wish they didn't bc it would mean society had improved. but alas

had dinner with my family today and kept on thinking of Son Loaf and trying so hard not to laugh

I just taught my dog how to cast spells and she won't stop using dark magic against the skinless corpse in the Torment Temple