outside smoking weed and coughing, dude comes up and offers me a lozenge lmao

cried for approx. 24 hrs straight, ama

MY HEART ISNT BROKEN AND IM NOT DEAD

"life be life-ing"

i rly want a neck tat but idk what to get

jealous of my cats bc their only responsibility is to nap in the sun

>=[

made my first blinkie at 27 😤

sang nigunim for the first time tonight 💖

i had a terrible 2 weeks but im ready to rejoin society

do you think jinxing is real? like talking about stuff will scare it away from happening?

cognitive behavioral torture VS. cock and ball therapy -- is this anything ??

my favorite thing about being jewish and being friends w/ other jews is how often we all say "my brother in christ" to each other

"you have the eloquence and urgency of a census worker caught in a bear trap"

every time I'm high at my gas station job I'm like "so THIS where the high-gas-station-employee trope comes from"

part of """the college experience""" is having an exploitative barista job, sorry i don't make the rules

if i was a clone wars character my name would be Lotsa Booty

[Robin Williams voice] GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING STATUS DOT CAFE !!!!