trying to speedrun emotional openness so i can talk about limbus company with a person i hurt deeply is kinda embarassing

self-awareness is the first step, but i must be honest that this is more than planning it's fear

im scared->i avoid it

im scared 😂

i will handle the result

>worries over conversation >other person takes the first step >worries more about how to respond

NO RESPONDING TO IMPORTANT TEXTS BEFORE EATING <my new rule

okay I slept on it. heart doing the fluttery thing is less bad but still happening

unexpected development in the "fucked my friendship up" saga. will wait until these heart palpitations go away (new thing. could be bad)

kinda wanna kill myself but i have school so idrc about that rn

whatt skiff got acquired by notion... i hope they dont fill it with ai features :(

i should text him, whats the worst that could happen->he hates me and i'll spiral->what's the worst that could happen->i'll spiral->what's t

put a mud mask on for the first time and it feels like I put mud on my face. the bubbles are nice though and made me sleepy

visited UC Davis and had matcha today. nice experience ^_^

maybe I should ask my therapist about bpd

miss my friend->i fucked it up i dont deserve to miss him->not a healthy way to look at it->okay well i still fucked it up->spiral->miss my

fell asleep too early. had a nightmare that my friend hated me

i forgot how cute espurr is

i miss my friend

a pancake is basically a butter sandwich